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Main Squeeze 2021

Green Fathers

⠀⠀⠀I’m 18 and I still can’t drive. But I hate staying inside, so sometimes I will walk one or two hours straight to the next city over and then add another three to account for all the zigzagging I do in between streets. I’m in Burbank again, the only city I ever walk to on […]

Categories
Main Squeeze 2021

I’m Floating in a Best Western Pool

⠀⠀⠀I’m floating in a Best Western pool in Northern California while Amy is dying. When the car broke down on I-5 with only 48,000 miles on it—I knew we wouldn’t make it. There is a mural with a duck about three feet tall and skylights so dirty I can’t tell if it’s overcast today. ⠀⠀⠀The […]

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Main Squeeze 2021

How are youuuuu

⠀⠀⠀I’ve sort of moved home: a place where ‘Congradulations Class of 2020’ has been on the fire station’s interchangeable letter sign for about as long as the T R U M P flag’s flown from the pole; that’s only large enough to be census-designated because it’s filled with white people, which is also why the […]

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Main Squeeze 2021

Confessing a Secret

⠀⠀⠀I look up the definitions of “secret” and “confession.” Am I doing this right? I don’t really believe I am doing anything right lately. That is partly the secret and therefore mainly the point. ⠀⠀⠀But this is who I am now. I only feel pretty on the days without full meals, or on mornings of […]

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Main Squeeze 2021

Parabiotic Thoughts

⠀⠀⠀Today I realized I’m a little too much like the male angler fish. The sea devil. Except it sounds cool when you say it like that. ⠀⠀⠀Shannon, our tour guide, takes us to a nearly blacked-out corner of the aquarium, a dark place away from the sharks, the groupers, the sea turtles, that’s meant to […]