tiktok stoic man

after bianca stone’s “marcus aurelius”

tiktok stoic man (100k followers)
tells me that I should become a stoic like him
that it will help me get rid of my stress and troubles
that these troubles lie in hot showers and hoochie mamas (his term)
for just $49 a month I can take his 
special stoic program ($10 savings)
and become a better man because I’m a silly 
extrinsically motivated changeable man now /
comment section is hopeful 
filled with the idealistic and ritually confused
teens and young men who’ve been laid off or abused
greek statues and roman artifacts for thumbnails
what would aurelius have thought of this? epictetus?
that we might be reading their works 
in a monetized online sadboi book club 
all activated almonds and dopamine detoxes
intrinsic ketogenic semen-retention /
this world was once ripe with philosophy
a dinner of monkfish stew savillum mulled wine
now mint and mercury    texture of freeze-dry /
please tiktok stoic man
spare me your sagacity    your strategies
and let your words instead pass through this liver
like so much grape juice
like ancient supplications 
through twine.